


I'm Not Letting You Go

by robertskycard



Category: The Last of Us
Genre: Alternate Universe, Canon-Typical Violence, Consensual Underage Sex, Expanded Universe, Explicit Language, F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-15
Updated: 2017-09-22
Packaged: 2018-10-19 07:27:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 7
Words: 17,185
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10635120
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/robertskycard/pseuds/robertskycard
Summary: We don't usually comprehend the extent of the consequences of our actions under duress. Not until they knock on the door. An exploration of unintended consequences, missing gaps, guilt, and redemption. Rated for graphic violence, language, and scenes of a sexual nature. Named such after a specific line of dialogue in Left Behind.





	1. Chapter 1: Abandoment

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, dear readers! This fic was originally created in 2014 and published on fanfiction.net. This was before I'd heard of Archive of Our Own, and had I known I would have posted it here. This is due to the nature of the story, dealing with graphic violence, underage sexual exploration, and a lot of angst, tears, and darkness. Back in 2014, I didn't really see any Ellie/Riley fics on fanfiction.net, so I decided I would try to be the one of first, knowing that a veritable deluge was on the way if people were as affected by Left Behind as I was. This, unfortunately, led to breakneck pacing, minimal description, and numerous editing errors. And yet people still liked it. It became on of the most popular fics I've ever written. 
> 
> Because I wanted to make a permanent move to Archive of Our Own, I decided to upload this fic as a trial balloon. And already it's gaining some traction. So here's the version you'll find on fanfiction.net, completely unedited. 
> 
> Author's Note from 2014: 
> 
> First of all, thank you for taking the time to read this. The reason I began writing this story to begin with was because, after Left Behind came out, I noticed a lack of ElliexRiley fanfiction and I started trying to rectify that. However, my obsessive writing began to expand, as I started filling in gaps from not just Left Behind, but from The Last of Us proper, and soon enough I had a full-blown story on my hands.
> 
> Let me preface this fanfic by saying that if you are uncomfortable with the exploration of teenage sexuality, then you might want to skip a chapter or so. With this in mind, sit back, relax, and read to your heart's content.

"Riley?"

Ellie lightly knocked on the door of Riley's room. Days before, Ellie had realized she had a crush on her best friend. Ten minutes ago, she was just on the brink of confessing her feelings toward Riley when the older girl shoved her food aside and trudged away, saying something about needing space to 'figure stuff out'. Ellie followed her, concerned. This wasn't like Riley, at all. As she stood, leaning against the wall, pondering why Riley's behavior was so strange, she heard feet stomping and then the door tore open. Riley stood, her face contorted into a scowl.

"What do you want?"

"I just wanted to see if you were okay."

Riley glared at her, "I'm fine," she said curtly before moving to slam the door in Ellie's face. Ellie placed her hand on the door, stopping it from closing.

"Wait."

Riley's brow formed into knot of anger, but she didn't close the door.

"You stormed out of the mess hall before I could say anything. I wanted to check in on you."

"Well, you've checked in, now. Happy?"

Ellie sighed. Moment of truth, "Riley, I want to tell you -"

"Why are you always following me around?"

Ellie was taken aback, "What?"

"I told you I needed some space, so why are you following me around? Don't you have anything better to do? You're like a goddamn puppy!"

"I-"

"Just leave me alone. Quit being so goddamn needy!"

"But -"

"Fuck off, Ellie!"

The door slammed shut. Ellie tried to bite back tears. When she realized she couldn't do it, she bolted to her room. Slamming the door shut, she jumped onto her bed and curled into a ball, tears flowing freely as she sobbed. Riley had rejected not only her but their entire friendship up to that point. Little did she know, a few doors down, Riley was doing and thinking the same thing while packing her belongings into her backpack.

* * *

Ellie awoke with a start. She thought she heard footsteps last night, light, sneaky steps instead of the usual thuds of the soldiers' boots. She slowly placed her bare feet on the ground before standing. She dressed and then made her way to the mess hall for breakfast. She took her rations and sat down across from Tino and the guys, leaving a space for Riley like she always did, hoping that Riley would sit by her, apologize, and the two could go on being friends again. She couldn't help but notice that, as she ate, Riley's gang of friends stayed unusually quiet this morning. She looked over her shoulder to the entrance to the mess hall when she heard the door open. It was just another kid walking in. She turned back to Tino. They ate in silence for a while, and every time the door would open Ellie would look over and see another kid. None of them were Riley. She finally spoke.

"Where's Riley?"

Tino had a forkful of food halfway to his mouth when he came to a dead stop, "I don't know, why?" he said before putting the fork in his mouth.

"She hasn't come in for breakfast."

"Maybe she's sick."

"She was fine last night," Ellie said. That was a lie. She may have been healthy, but she wasn't anywhere near 'fine'. 'Hostile' was a more appropriate term.

"Look, maybe she's just staying in today," Tino offered as he continued to focus on his tray of food. Ellie knew he was lying. He knew. He had to know. She reached over and pulled his tray from his grasp, "Hey, what the fuck is that for?" he sputtered.

"Where is she?"

"I don't know!"

"Bullshit!"

"Look, I don't know where she is, so why are you asking me?!"

Ellie angrily shoved the tray back at him before standing up and heading off to Riley's room. She pounded on the door.

"Riley, you in there?"

Nothing. She knocked again, harder.

"Riley?!"

The door swung open with the force of her knocks. Riley's bed was made, but all of her belongings were gone. Ellie sped back to the mess hall and then the hallways, calling Riley's name. She searched high and low throughout the building, her voice getting raw as she kept shouting. She couldn't find her anywhere. She finally returned to the mess hall and grabbed Tino by the shirt.

"Where is she?!"

"I don't know! She just fucking disappeared, that's all I know, I promise!"

She let him go and fled, back to her room. She slammed the door shut and began to throw her possessions around angrily, "Goddammit, Riley, we were good! What the fuck happened? Why did yell at me? Why did you go?!"

She yanked their picture off the wall and was about to tear it in two when she stopped suddenly, looking at the picture. It was her. And Riley. Smiling. Happy. Together. How it should be. How it should have remained. She sat down on the bed, clutching it in shaky hands. She held it close. She stroked it with a finger and then replaced it on the wall where it belonged. She felt tears begin to stream down her face, but she angrily wiped them away. Riley was barely gone, yet Ellie already missed her. But it was going to be okay, Ellie thought. Riley would come back, and then Ellie would tell her how she felt about her. That Ellie cared about her as more than just a friend.

* * *

Days turned into weeks. Ellie was sure that Riley would have come back by now. Every morning, she talked to Tino and his friends, asking if they'd seen Riley or knew anything. They always said the same thing, "I'm sorry, Ellie. I haven't seen her. I think she's gone for good," Eventually, Ellie conceded that perhaps they were right. If Riley was dead, infected, or just away, Ellie wouldn't ever have the chance to tell her just how much she cared.

Riley was gone. Permanently. And nothing Ellie could do would ever change that. She began to drift from her friends, and eventually she sat alone in the corner of the mess hall, like she always did before she'd met Riley. Every night, she couldn't sleep, knowing that Riley's end would most likely be grisly.

One Thursday evening, she couldn't sleep, so she snuck out to meet with Winston or, more precisely, Princess. When she got to the mall, she found him in his tent, flipping through a magazine, paying no attention to the surrounding world. He appeared to be slowly drifting off to sleep. She walked away quietly and went to the makeshift stables where Princess was kept.

"Hey, Princess," she muttered, patting the horse's neck. It was stupid, she thought, stupid that her only friends left were an old drunk of a soldier and a horse. It wasn't so bad, actually. At least the horse would listen. She began to tell Princess the whole story, about how she'd met the Fireflies with Riley, about how the two had struck up a friendship after that, about how she started having feelings for her friend, and that her friend had recently disappeared without saying goodbye. Ellie began to cry, sobs wracking her frame, all the pent up emotion from the past month just pouring out of her eyes. She leaned onto the horse for support and her tears mingled with the stiff hair on its side. After the tears finally stopped, Ellie stood and wiped her nose.

"Sorry. I just had to let it all out."

Princess snorted in response, as if to say, "It's alright," Ellie smiled a little and finished cleaning her face with her sleeve. She made her way back to Winston's tent and found him, writing furiously into an empty book, "You fucking asshole," he muttered to himself.

"Hey, Winston."

Winston jumped, startled, "Holy -! What the hell are you doing here at this time of night? Don't you know what time it is?"

"I just wanted to spend some time with Princess."

"It's eleven thirty! Go back to school, it's past curfew!"

"I can pay you, if you want."

"This isn't about payment, goddammit. You're gonna get yourself into trouble and I don't want that hanging over my head. You want to pay me? Then get back to school before they find out you're gone."

"Glad to see you care, Winston," Ellie snorted before stalking off.

She heard him mutter, "Goddammit, you did it again," as she left. She didn't know what he was talking about. She didn't care.

A week later, Winston died and the military took Princess away. Ellie was alone.

* * *

Ellie sat on the edge of her bed, wearing her striped tank top and her sleeping shorts. She lay down on the bed, reaching under her pillow, touching her mother's switchblade. It gave her comfort most nights, but not tonight. She tossed and turned. Rain pattered outside, drops making shadowy lines against the wall as they cascaded down her window. She closed her eyes. A thought popped into her head, one that chilled her blood.

Riley might have been infected. Ellie tried to push the thought away. Riley was too smart to get bitten. Too tough. Too everything. But even though Ellie tried to convince herself that Riley would be fine, she kept imagining Riley, sprouting fungus, bleeding from her facial orifices, snarling and snapping, coming after her. She couldn't stop thinking about it. She couldn't stop thinking of an infected Riley, storming into her room, rushing her, hot breath and teeth at her neck, biting through flesh. It felt real.

Too real.

"GAAH!"

Ellie shoved the infected creature off of her and drew her switchblade, ready to kill it. But then, the infected started laughing. She wasn't infected at all.

"Riley?!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's it for Chapter 1. Thank you for reading and I shall see you next time with Chapter 2.
> 
> robertskycard


	2. Chapter 2: Last Moments

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains material of a sexual nature involving teenagers under the age of eighteen. If you are not very comfortable with this, please skip this chapter. You may not understand future chapters without this, however.
> 
> Viewer discretion has been advised.

One bite. One bite was all it took. Ellie kept silent, clutching her knees, staring at the blood stained floor of Liberty Gardens. She barely felt the pain in her bite wound. Everything felt numb. It was odd. _Their_ blood and saliva was just the same as hers, yet there was all the difference in the world.

Ellie had finally been honest with herself. She'd kissed her best friend, who wanted to be with her, who threw her Firefly pendant on the ground, choosing to stay. Ellie had been thrilled. Potentially a whole life awaited her with Riley, the one person she ever truly cared about. And now she only had up to two days, at most before the bites set in and they were both consumed.

It wasn't fair. It wasn't fucking fair! Why did this have to happen? Why did they have to get bitten? Why today? Of all the days they'd ever come here, why did it have to be the day she kissed her best friend?

The events of the past few hours replayed in her mind, over and over, snippets here and there jumping out at her.

_"Come on. When have we ever gotten into trouble?"_

_"You still saving up for that vacation?"_

_"Ellie, really? Fucking roar!"_

_"Brick-fucking- MASTER!"_

_"Why did you lash out at me?"_

_"What did the triangle say to the circle?"_

_"Fuck you! You found another pun book?!"_

_"The photobooth's on! Ellie, we're so doing this!"_

_"You want to keep exploring?"_

_"You are playing as the unstoppable, yet drop dead gorgeous, Angel Knives."_

_"I argued with them to stay here."_

_"Why did you bring me here?"_

_"You want my advice? Go. Come on, let's just say our goodbyes."_

_"You're about to get drenched."_

_"I said it like an asshole, but I totally meant it. You should go. I mean, this is something that you've wanted for…you know… forever, so…who am I to stop you?"_

_"The one person that can."_

_"You really will be miserable without me."_

_"Don't go."_

_"What do we do now?"_

_"We'll figure it out."_

_"Riley!"_

_"Ellie…Ellie, your arm."_

_"What are we gonna do?"_

_"Let's just wait it out. You know, we can be all poetic and just lose our minds together."_

_"What's option three?"_

_"Sorry."_

"Ellie?"

The last one was real. Ellie snapped back to reality. Riley's hand was extended down toward her. She took it and stood up. Neither said a word as they climbed the scaffolding, exited the window, and sat down again on the rooftop, both looking at the sun as it rose.

Riley finally spoke, "I wish I'd watched these more often."

Ellie nodded. Riley's hand found hers. The touch was warm and comforting. Their fingers interlaced. Ellie put her head on Riley's shoulder.

"You said we'd figure it out," Ellie mumbled before looking at Riley, "Can we still talk about it? I know it won't happen, but still..."

Riley looked back at Ellie. Their eyes found each other. Riley suddenly broke eye contact and stared at her feet.

"I don't know what I would have done. I'm still not sure."

Ellie frowned, "I wanted to leave this stupid quarantine zone. Just find somewhere, out there, that's quiet. All by ourselves."

"Where?"

"Maybe somewhere where there are trees and mountains. Maybe the beach in L.A. I don't really know. Just that it's quiet and away from the cities."

"I guess it would have been nice," Riley sighed as she looked at Ellie. Their eyes met, both girls leaned in, and they kissed. It felt just as right it had in the mall.

"We should go to the Fireflies," Riley said after they broke the kiss.

"What? Why?"

"I don't know, but I think that we should at least go to that part of town. I don't want the soldiers to find us. You know what happens then."

Ellie thought it over. The Fireflies might help, but they might just shoot them on sight. But it was that, or receive an injection from the military.

"Alright. We'll go to the Fireflies. But I want to spend some time, just us, before we go."

Riley smiled, "What did you have in mind?"

Ellie answered by wrapping her arms around Riley's neck and kissing her, pouring all her emotion and passion from the past few hours into that one kiss. Riley started kissing back with a vengeance. Ellie didn't know whose hands started moving first, but soon both she and Riley were all over each other, grasping with need and desire. She was suddenly aware of Riley's hands, slowly lifting her shirt up.

"Wait."

"What is it?"

"I think we should find some place a little more private."

Riley's grin was almost predatory. It made Ellie's heart soar.

* * *

They returned to the mall, collected their things, and cleaned the blood off themselves, after which, they made their way to an abandoned mattress store. Ellie set down her pack just before Riley roughly seized her by the shoulders.

"Riley, what are you-"

Riley shoved her back. Ellie fell back onto the closest mattress, quickly followed by Riley, who straddled her and began kissing her in earnest. Ellie lost herself in Riley's smell, her taste, and her loving caresses. She felt Riley's hands exploring her sides, her arms, her hips, her thighs, and she felt her heart pounding in her chest. Ellie clutched at her back as Riley's tongue touched her lips, asking for permission. Ellie opened her mouth and touched Riley's lips with her tongue as an answer. They deepened the kiss, tongues wrestling for dominance. Suddenly, Riley broke away.

"What? What is it?" Ellie panted.

"I…" Riley paused, her expression unsure, "I don't know what we're doing. I've never done anything like this before."

"Didn't you say we'd figure it out?"

Riley chuckled, "Yeah, I guess I did," her expression softened, "Do you think we should… get undressed?"

Ellie grabbed Riley by the shirt and pulled her back down on top of her, "I want to spend my last days with you, Riley, and I don't care how we do it. Whatever this means, I want to stay with you. Let's do what feels right."

And with that, Ellie drew Riley into another passionate kiss before placing her hands on Riley's shoulders and pushing Riley's outer shirt down her shoulders and back. She grabbed a hold of the denim as it fell from Riley and tossed it aside. Riley's hands grasped at her sides, pulling them closer together. One of Riley's hands went up to Ellie's shoulder and brushed down her collar bone, her chest, her stomach until it found the button on Ellie's jeans. It deftly popped the button open, slid the zipper down, and then slipped down the front of Ellie's shorts.

Ellie arched her neck and her back, gasping loudly as Riley's fingers found their mark. Riley's mouth moved from Ellie's lips to her cheek, her jawbone, her neck, and then to Ellie's collarbone, delicately kissing and sucking as her fingers continued to explore between Ellie's legs.

"Holy shit!" Ellie groaned as Riley's thumb pressed down in just the right way and two fingers slid inside.

Riley looked up at her with concern, "What?" she began to withdraw her hand.

Ellie grabbed Riley's wrist, the implied message understood. Riley resumed her ministrations. Her fingers curled and found another sensitive spot within. Ellie slowly began to roll her hips, wanting more pressure and friction, which Riley gave. The thumb pressed down harder, eliciting a cry of pleasure as the fingers massaged her inner walls. She was building up to something, something she didn't quite understand, but something she knew that if she didn't get to, she'd die.

"Holy hell, Riley, that feels good," she moaned as she arched her back again, "Faster."

Pressure built up inside her, slowly, until it seemed everything was going to explode. Riley's hand began to move faster and faster.

"Don't stop," Ellie thrashed her head back and forth. The dam was beginning to break. Everything from the past few minutes had been leading up to this moment.

Ellie was hit with an explosion of sensation radiating from where Riley's hand was moving. She called Riley's name, clutched her back, and rode the wave that swept her away from reality for a few moments. There were no infected, no Fireflies, and no soldiers. Nothing. Nothing except Riley, panting above her, hot breath and lips at her neck, her cheeks, and her mouth, fingers stilled inside her.

After a few moments of rest, Ellie came down from her high and saw Riley smiling, "What?"

"Oh, nothing."

"What is it?"

"Well… that was totally hot."

"Shut up."

"I'm serious."

Ellie smiled.

"So, how was it?"

"It was…" Ellie couldn't find a word for what had just transpired. Amazing, wonderful, and fantastic seemed insignificant to what she had felt when Riley's fingers had explored her, fingers that were still within her, "I really liked it."

"Oh, I could tell."

When Riley removed her hand from Ellie, she immediately missed its presence. Riley brought the fingers up so they both could see. They glistened with moisture. Riley wiped her hand on the mattress before lying down beside Ellie.

"Did you ever do anything like that with yourself?" Riley asked as she turned and propped herself on her elbow.

"No," Ellie answered honestly, "I've looked down there in the shower, but I've never…" she trailed off, a question suddenly present in her mind, "How did you know? I mean… it seemed like you knew what you were doing."

Riley smirked a little, "Well, I've had a little practice. I've done it to myself for a while now. I just thought maybe you'd like it."

Ellie wondered for a moment before facing Riley, mimicking her position, "Well, what did you think about?"

Riley grinned, "You. And what we'd do."

Ellie's heart began to pound at the thought of Riley alone on her bed, hand between her legs, whispering Ellie's name in the darkness, "Oh. What would we be doing?"

"Kissing, cuddling, and other stuff."

"Like what?"

Riley considered Ellie's question, "Have you ever heard of 'going down' on someone?"

"No, what's that?"

Riley's grin was devious, "How about I show you?"

Ellie couldn't help but flash a curious smile, "Okay, so what do I need to do?"

"Just lie back and enjoy. Oh, and if you take off your pants, that would help, otherwise I can't do it."

Ellie was suddenly nervous. Riley sensed it, "What's wrong?"

"I've never taken my pants off in front of anyone before."

Riley moved close and kissed her lightly on the lips, "If it'll help, I'll take of mine."

Ellie smiled at the proposal, "Okay," she turned face up, grabbed her jeans, shorts, and underwear at her hips, and pushed them down, seeing Riley doing the same in her peripheral vision. When her garments got to her ankles, Ellie kicked them off the mattress and lay back. Riley returned to her.

Before Ellie could ask what 'going down' was, Riley was on top of her, tongue swirling in her mouth, hand snaking under her shirt, brushing against her nipple, causing electric shocks. Ellie felt the smooth, soft flesh of Riley's thighs as they brushed against hers. Ellie's hand instinctively reached down and gripped Riley's bare hip, pulling her closer. Riley groaned into her mouth, a deep, lusty guttural sound.

"Do that again, and you'll never find out what 'going down' is."

Ellie whimpered, craving Riley's touch, but released her. Riley's lips and tongue left her mouth and began to move down Ellie's body, stopping at her collarbone before skipping all the way to her thighs. Ellie had some idea where this was going as Riley settled herself between Ellie's legs, placed her shoulders under Ellie's thighs, and slowly kissed her way toward the juncture of her thighs. She stopped just short of it, hot breath making Ellie shiver with anticipation.

Riley looked up at her, "You ready?"

Ellie couldn't speak and only nodded enthusiastically. As Riley's lips descended on her, Ellie arched her back, pleasure shooting through her, "Oh God, Riley, that's so good," Ellie moaned, grabbing Riley by the head and pushing her hips against Riley's face. She felt Riley's tongue flick across the sensitive nub and she closed her eyes tightly, letting the waves wash over her. The tongue thoroughly explored her, remaining and pressing against what got the best reactions out of her. Ellie had never thought she would experience something like this at the hands of one she considered worth more than the entire world. Then, Riley's tongue slipped inside and Ellie lost control.

"Holy fuck, yes!" she called as she bucked her hips against Riley's face, her whole body contorting as Riley's tongue continued to explore inside her, pressing against all the right places. Again, Ellie lost herself in sheer pleasure, forgetting the surrounding world as her muscles clenched and squeezed in ecstasy. Moments later, Ellie collapsed on the mattress, panting heavily, wiping sweat from her brow. Riley clambered upt to her, straddled her thigh, and kissed her. Ellie tasted herself on Riley's lips and tongue. It was like nothing she'd ever tasted before.

Ellie broke the kiss, "Thank you. Thank you so much. That was even better than before," she whispered into Riley's ear.

"Thank me? I should thank you. You have no idea what you do to me when you thrash around like that, saying my name. By the way, _that's_ what 'going down' on someone means."

"How did you know how to do that?"

"I read about it in an old magazine I 'borrowed' from Liz. She was super pissed when she found out I took it," Riley chuckled, "God, Ellie, I'm so wound up now. You gotta do something to help me out."

Ellie feigned ignorance, "Like what?"

"You know what."

"I haven't the faintest idea what you're talking about."

Riley began to grind herself on Ellie's thigh, leaving a trail of moisture, "God, you are impossible."

Ellie grabbed Riley's hip with her hand, ceasing her movement. Ellie looked down and slowly ran her hand around until it was just an inch from where Riley was begging to be touched, "I'm just fucking with you. I'll give you a deal. I'll help you, but first you have to take off your shirt," the words were barely out of Ellie's mouth when Riley savagely pulled the shirt over her head and threw it aside.

Ellie responded by moving her fingers lower and brushing the hard nub she found. Riley gasped loudly, "Holy shit, Ellie, that feels so -" she was cut off with a groan when Ellie found her entrance and slipped two fingers inside, as Riley had done to her. She placed her thumb on the nub and pressed down. Riley's eyes rolled back and she arched her back, moaning, "Oh, God," pushing her hips down into Ellie's hand, trapping it against her thigh.

Ellie continued to push back against her and soon, Riley was grinding into Ellie's hand, grunting and panting, eyes closed tightly in pleasure. She moaned as Ellie touched a particularly sensitive spot inside her. Ellie leaned up and kissed Riley's collarbone, slowly moving down until her lips found Riley's nipple. She pulled the nipple into her mouth and sucked, eliciting a cry of pleasure, "I'm so close, keep going," Riley panted as Ellie continued to move her fingers back and forth within her. Ellie curled her fingers and found what she was looking for, "Oh God, Ellie!" Riley cried out, her muscles clenching around Ellie's fingers like a vice. Riley's body went rigid, eyes closed in ecstasy.

After a moment, she collapsed on top of Ellie, dripping sweat, "Fucking hell, Ellie, that was beautiful," she breathed as Ellie removed her fingers. Ellie looked at them and a strange idea passed through her head. She took her fingers, placed them in her mouth, and sucked them clean. The taste was similar to her own, yet somehow different. She suddenly realized that she had done this in full view of Riley and a blush crept across her cheeks.

"What was that?" Riley smirked

"Well, since I want you to teach me how to go down on you, I might as well taste it first," Ellie mumbled.

"Well, what do I taste like?"

Ellie's lips curled into a wicked smile, "Want to find out?"

Riley breathed out a little chuckle. She took Ellie's wrist, slid her hand down between her own legs, and let Ellie probe her with two fingers. She shuddered, brought them back up coated with moisture, and placed the fingers in her mouth as Ellie had done. Ellie felt Riley's tongue swirl around them before she pulled her hand away.

"That's so fucking hot," Ellie said as she grinned. Another idea popped into her head. She suddenly grabbed Riley by the waist and threw her on her back, causing both girls to laugh uncontrollably. Ellie silenced Riley with a kiss, stood on her knees, and pulled her shirt off over her head, casually dropping it to the floor. She rejoined Riley with a fevered kiss, pushing her tongue past her lips, hands roaming her body. Riley pinched her nipple, making her groan with delight.

As loathe as she was to leave Riley's mouth, she knew she had to in order to make due on her promise. She trailed kissed down Riley's neck, collarbone, breast, belly, and then, taking a cue from Riley's earlier actions, skipped past her destination and started from the other end, kissing her way from Riley's toes, feet, and calves all the way to her inner thighs, "Oh God, Ellie, please! I'm dying here!" Riley begged as Ellie slowed her pace to an almost imperceptible crawl only inches away from Riley's sensitive spot.

Ellie looked up at her, suddenly unsure of what to do. Riley saw the concern in her eyes and said, "It's okay, Ellie. I'll direct you. If I can't talk, you're doing great."

Ellie dove in, "Oh right there. That's it, oh holy shit!" Riley's fingers snaked through Ellie's auburn hair as Ellie hit a sensitive spot, causing her to arch her back, "Little to the left. Yes, oh fuck yes," Riley's grip on Ellie's head tightened, "Oh Ellie, yes!" Riley moaned, her thighs pressing on Ellie's ears, "Put your fingers inside me! I want them in -" before Riley could finish her direction, Ellie slid two fingers in below her tongue, "Oh yes, right there, right there! I'm so fucking close, Ellie!"

The pressure of Riley's legs squeezing Ellie's ears like a press and the iron grip in Ellie's hair hurt, but Ellie enjoyed it as Riley shuddered, groaned, and writhed under her touch. Riley called out, "Ellie!" as a gush of fluid coated Ellie's fingers and mouth Ellie looked up at Riley and saw that the older girl's expression was one of pure bliss. Ellie drank in the sight of it before climbing back put to kiss her, straddling Riley's hips and enjoying the friction.

Ellie didn't give Riley time to recuperate. She pressed her core against Riley's, eliciting a moan which she used as an opportunity to push her tongue past Riley's lips. Riley quickly recovered and began to grind against her. Ellie rolled her hips and sat up, shuddering as the pleasure radiated from her core. Riley sat up as well and clung to her, her hot breath on Ellie's neck, hands grasping at her back.

"Oh God, Riley -"

"Ellie, that feels so good -"

"Don't stop -"

"Yes, yes, yes -"

"Oh, fuck -"

"Oh God, yes -"

"I'm so close, Riley -"

"I'm gonna -"

"Riley -"

"Ellie -"

They clutched and grasped at each other, shaking as their combined climax hit them, gripping each other as tightly as they could, riding the storm out together, sighing each other's names in ecstasy. They collapsed onto the mattress, a tangle of sweaty limbs and adolescent bodies, gasping for breath as they came down from their high. They bathed in the blissful afterglow for a long time, staying silent, nuzzling each other as they rested in each other's arms.

Ellie absentmindedly traced her fingernail over Riley's naked body, "I'm so glad we did this," she murmured with a smile.

Riley looked back at her lovingly, "So am I," she said and gave her a single kiss. Ellie chuckled a little.

"What?"

"We've been missing out."

Both girls started giggling then quickly erupted into a fit of hysterical laughter.

"Oh, man," Ellie sighed.

"'Oh man' is right. I'm impressed."

"I'm glad you liked it."

"You're not too bad, yourself."

They both laughed some more, losing themselves in the moment.

"You know Riley, I'm not sorry anymore for kissing you."

"Good," Riley smiled and curled up closer to her.

Ellie wished it would go on forever. Then she remembered why she had brought Riley to the mattress store in the first place. She remembered the frantic running, the blood pounding in her ears as she stabbed downward, the gunshots that rang out. Ellie glanced at her arm and saw the bite. It had sprouted fungus spores around it. She surreptitiously peeked at Riley's wound. It was similar, yet puffy and red around the tooth marks in the skin. A sudden wave of sorrow overcame her and tears came streaming down her face.

"I don't want to leave you, Riley," she sobbed, "I don't want to be alone again."

Riley pulled her close and kissed her ear, "Shh, it'll be okay. It'll be okay."

Ellie quaked with the force of her sobs, "It's not fucking fair! It's not fucking fair!"

Ellie wept into Riley's shoulder, Riley petting her back and kissing the side of her head, whispering comfort into her ear. After Ellie's sobs had quieted down, Riley kissed her lips once and said lovingly, "You're okay, Ellie. I've got you. Let's get up, get dressed, and see if we can find any clothes that'll hide these eye sores from the military, okay?"

Ellie sniffled and nodded, wiping her tears away with her hand. They dressed each other in silence, pausing occasionally to touch or to kiss. They pulled their packs on and left the mattress store hand in hand, returning to where they had danced just hours before. Ellie, her mood slowly returning, found a long-sleeve black undershirt and a pink t-shirt with a beach graphic on it. She put them both on.

"Well, what do you think?" she asked Riley.

"Give me a spin."

Ellie giggled, twirled around in a circle, and found herself suddenly in Riley's arms again, "You're perfect," Riley grinned before sweetly kissing her.

Another idea popped into Ellie's head, "Hey, remember that vacation in L.A. we were saving up for?"

"Yeah?"

"After surfing, I'd totally bone you on the beach."

"In a beachside house, maybe but the beach itself? That's gross. Sand would get everywhere!" the gleam in Riley's eye betrayed her words and Ellie kissed her again. Ellie felt her eyes soften as she gazed into Riley's eyes.

"We still have some time, if you want to -" Ellie began but she was cut off when Riley violently sneezed onto the back of her own hand. Ellie was about to giggle and comment on how Riley's sneezes had always been cute when she saw it.

Blood. A nice big spatter, right on the back of Riley's hand. The horror of what this meant sunk in.

"No. No, no, no," Ellie whispered. Blood continued to drip out of Riley's nose. Riley tried to wipe the blood off her hand, but it just smeared all over instead. She grabbed Ellie by the wrist.

"We need to go. Now." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> From the outset, this was the scene I intended on writing. A scene of exploration, both sexual and tender, by two young people who want to spend what they assume are their last moments together. This scene was hard for me to write, both from a technical standpoint and an emotional one. It's hard to write a scene where the two people involved have little to no vocabulary for what they are doing and keeping the thought processes as true and believable as possible. Emotionally, this was hard as Left Behind affected me deeply and the tragedy that comes with the ending of that DLC still rings true throughout.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed the chapter and I will see you next time with Chapter 3.


	3. Chapter 3: Remorse and Blame

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if Ellie seems a bit weepy in these first three chapters. I promise that there will be less weeping in coming chapters.

The sun slowly set on Boston. Ellie had followed behind Riley as they carefully marched through back alleys and buildings to sneak around checkpoints. Ellie looked on Riley, noticing the older girl had her wounded hand shoved in her pocket, other hand pressed against her nostrils to cover the bleeding. Her head was bowed, apparently deep in thought. She occasionally glanced back at Ellie with a feigned smile. The hours ticked by and night fell. Riley picked up the pace. Ellie struggled to catch up.

"Where are we going?"

"The Fireflies, I told you. Marlene will help us."

"No, I mean where specifically. Didn't they take us to someplace underground last time?"

"We're going right to the hideout. Come on, it's not too far."

The two girls walked on in silence. As Riley passed through an open gate in a chain link fence, she suddenly spun around and shoved Ellie back, shutting the gate with the click of a lock.

"Riley, what are you doing?!" Ellie grabbed the gate and tried to push it open, to no avail.

"I'm keeping you from stopping me."

"What?!"

"Look at me!"

Riley's eyes were bloodshot, turning red. Her wounded hand was inflamed and sprouting fungus. Her nose dripped blood continually. Her expression was one of intense sorrow. She said her next words soberly.

"You're immune."

"I'm not."

"Ellie, it's been a whole day. I'm way worse than you, and you only have tooth marks. I have sprouts starting to crop up all over me. I feel them pushing through, everywhere. You have to face this."

"I have sprouts on my arm, too!" Eille rolled up her sleeve and shoved her bare arm through a gap in the gate.

"It's only on your bite," Riley murmured, and Ellie saw that she was right. She had no blood, no sprouts anywhere but the bite, and no bloodshot eyes. But she didn't care. She wanted to stay with Riley, to the end.

"I'm not going to leave you!"

"Ellie, I'm going to turn. Soon." Tears streamed down both the girls' faces, "I don't want you to see me like that."

Ellie stared Riley down, sniffing, "You said we had to keep fighting! What happened to fighting? What the fuck happened to fighting?!" she pounded her fist on the gate.

"I'm not giving up, Ellie. But I don't want you to die because of me," Rliey stuck her hands through the grate, gently grabbed Ellie's wrist, and placed something in Ellie's hand. It was her Firefly pendant, "Not after what we shared," Riley backed away from the gate and drew her pistol with a shaky hand.

Ellie slammed her fists on the gate as she wept, "Don't do this to me!"

"Keep fighting, Ellie," Riley mumbled as she placed the gun to her temple.

"Don't leave me again, Riley!"

"I love you," she whispered as she closed her eyes.

"DON'T -"

_BANG!_

The gunshot was deafening. Ellie didn't notice that she reached out at the falling form of Riley's body. She didn't notice when she collapsed against the gate. She didn't know how long she sat, or notice when the sun began to rise. All she saw was Riley, motionless on the concrete, blood pooling beneath her corpse.

"What the fuck is going -. Holy shit! Ellie?!"

Ellie refused to look. It was Marlene's voice.

"Ellie, I heard a gunshot! What the hell is -" Marlene got close enough and saw Riley's body, "Oh, God. Ellie. What happened?"

Ellie refused to break her sight from Riley's corpse.

"Ellie," Marlene's hand gently came to rub Ellie's shoulder, "Please tell me what happened."

"Riley shot herself."

"Why?"

"We were bitten."

"Both of you?"

Ellie could only nod. She didn't notice that Marlene had drawn a pistol and was currently pointing it at the back of her head while trying to stifle tears.

"Ellie, how did this happen?"

"We were at the mall. She wanted to see me one last time before she left. We got bitten. That was yesterday morning," Ellie finally looked up to see Marlene's pistol aimed at her head, tears streaming down the Firefly's face.

"You know what I have to do now, right?" Marlene choked back a sob that threatened to come loose, "I don't want to do this. Why did you have to get bitten?"

Ellie just looked into Marlene's eyes, full of sadness, "Riley and I got bitten at the same time. Look at her, then look at me."

Marlene looked at Riley's cold body and immediately noticed the difference between their infections. She looked back at Ellie, whose face dripped tears, "She shot herself because she was gonna turn and I wasn't."

Marlene stared blankly for a moment, and then put the pistol away. She reached down and gently pulled Ellie to her feet, "I'm sorry, Ellie. Let's get you someplace safe where we can talk."

"Can we bury her?"

"I don't think so."

"I'm not going anywhere until we bury her."

Marlene knelt down and placed both her hands gently on Ellie's shoulders, "There's no place to bury her body, Ellie. I really wish we could, if only to give you some closure, but we can't. It's just not possible."

Ellie looked down, "Figures," she muttered before following Marlene, staring at her feet.

* * *

The next few days were a blur. Ellie followed Marlene from safehouse to safehouse, listening as the Fireflies bickered over whether she was immune or just infected. Eventually, after some persuasion by Marlene, they believed it, too.

Ellie was immune.

It made her sick. She didn't ask for it. She didn't want it. She wanted Riley to be back. She didn't want to be important. As shitty as it was, she just wanted to go back to her old life. One morning, Marlene and Ellie sat together having breakfast when Marlene spoke up, "I know how you feel, Ellie."

Ellie looked up, "How would you know?" she snarled, more hostile than she had intended her response to be.

Marlene gave Ellie a sorrowful look, "I know it's painful, but the best thing we can do is try to move on."

"Move on? Really?" Ellie glared angrily at Marlene, "Is that what you thought when my mom died?"

The words were out of her mouth before she could stop them. She clapped a hand over her mouth, "Oh shit, I'm sorry…I…"

She expected Marlene to stand up and throw her food, roar at her about how she was just a child that didn't know anything, call her ungrateful. However, Marlene just shook her head, "No. No it wasn't what I thought. I was angry. I was hurt. I felt alone. But the only thing I could do was promise. Promise to take care of someone," she mumbled, pointing her spoon at Ellie, "You."

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have -"

"It's okay, Ellie. Like I said, I know how you feel."

Ellie stirred her oatmeal, staring at the swirling pattern it made, "She came to see me. She came to see me and it got her killed."

"It's not your fault, Ellie."

"It _is_ my fault. Without me, she would have stayed with you guys and she'd have been fine in another city."

"Ellie…"

"I killed Riley, Marlene."

Marlene shook her head again, "No, Ellie, you didn't. The infected killed her."

Ellie looked back at Marlene, "Did they shoot her? No. She shot herself because she didn't want to hurt me. She'd be infected, but she'd still be alive if it wasn't for me."

Marlene frowned and both continued to eat in silence, before Marlene spoke again.

"Did Riley ask you to do anything before she died?"

Ellie stopped cold, "That's private."

"I'm only trying to help."

Ellie stared at her oatmeal. The brown sludge was becoming colder and colder, "She said, 'fight for me.'"

"What do you think she meant by that?"

It was suddenly clear to Ellie what she had to do, "I'm the cure, aren't I?"

Marlene nodded.

* * *

"Come on, kid, grab your shit and let's move before soldiers find us," Trevor whispered, pistol drawn, peeking down the hallway, making sure the coast was clear.

Ellie ignored him as she stuffed clothes into her backpack. Whatever clothes she used, they had to be long-sleeved. Ellie grabbed ahold of her winter coat, jacket, and undershirt and threw them in the pack. The man who was her guard, Trevor, had greeted her with, "Hey, remember this?" while flashing his scarred thumb at her before lighting up a cigarette. Ellie resolved to take her sweet time. However, as much as she disliked Trevor, he could be kind when he needed to be, unlike Ethan. Ethan was Corporal Dickhead without the rank to be able to bully people.

But she didn't have time to worry about that now. They'd returned to the prep school in order to get Ellie's clothes, as Marlene had said that Ellie could grab mementos if she needed to. Ethan had been strongly against it, but Trevor had put a hand on Ellie's shoulder and said, "Look, we all have private stuff. Her's just happens to be surrounded by soldiers."

Now, Ellie finished packing her bag and was almost on the way out when she saw something on her desk. It was the picture, with Riley holding the camera and Ellie embracing her from behind, both of them beaming. She stepped over to it and picked it up.

"Kid, what the hell are you doing? We gotta go!"

"In a minute!" Ellie hissed. She lightly touched the photo. She remembered the ensuing conversation as she'd grabbed for the camera.

" _Oh come on, let me try!"_

_"No! You'll break it!"_

_"Pleeeeeaase?"_

_"No!"_

_"Pretty please?"_

_"No!"_

_"Super pretty please with a cherry on top?"_

_"What does that even mean?"_

_"No idea, but can I use the camera?"_

As Riley had relented and passed the camera over to her, Ellie's grip had slipped and the camera had fallen to the ground, breaking into a dozen pieces. There'd been an argument after that, but they made up quickly, even though Riley had always given her crap about the camera. Ellie put the photo in her pack.

"You done yet?"

Ellie walked toward the door, gave the room one last look, and turned back to Trevor, "Yeah, let's go. I'm sick of this place."

The two of them snuck back out of the school without incident. After they got to an alley in Firefly territory near to the safehouse where they were supposed to regroup, Trevor sat down on a dumped over trashcan, pulled out a cigarette from his shirt pocket, drew his zippo lighter, and began to smoke. Ellie coughed.

"Why do you smoke, Trevor?" she asked, waving smoke away from her face, "I thought cigarette factories stopped producing."

"They did," he grunted, putting away the lighter and blowing smoke out of his nose.

"Then where do you get new ones?"

"I don't," he leaned back against the brick wall of the alleyway.

"So, you're smoking twenty year old cigarettes?"

"Yep."

"Why?"

"Because I'd go nuts if I didn't," he blew out a puff of smoke, sighing, "I don't want to keep doing this, but there's no way to quit without just going cold turkey. As long as I keep finding them, I'm gonna keep smoking them."

Ellie sat down in the grass, "So, what does 'cold turkey' mean?"

"Full stop. Just get rid of whatever you're addicted to and just not touch it again. Easier said than done."

"So, your plan is to smoke all the cigarettes you can find until you can't find anymore?"

"Bingo."

Suddenly, Ethan rounded the corner, an assault rifle in his hands, "There you are. You two done jawing off? Let's get the fuck out of here before soldiers crack down on us!"

"Not until I'm done. Marlene bitches about it when I smoke indoors," Trevor didn't even look at him.

"Come on, dickwad, we've got a job to do."

Trevor gave him the finger, "Take the kid and tell Marlene I'm out smoking."

Ethan hauled Ellie to her feet and then the two of them left Trevor, sitting on the trashcan puffing away.

* * *

Another morning and the Fireflies were having breakfast, Ellie sitting across from Marlene as if they'd been doing this for years in school.

"You know, Riley talked about you a lot."

"What'd she say?"

"She wanted you to join us. She missed you a lot. She was really angry when I told her she had to go."

Ellie was quiet, stirring her food pensively.

Marlene gestured to Ellie's oatmeal, "You need to eat, Ellie."

"I'm not hungry."

"You've barely touched your food."

"I said I'm not hungry."

Marlene shook her head, "Look, you can't starve yourself. You're too important."

"I didn't ask for this," Ellie muttered.

"I didn't either. Please. Eat. For Riley."

Ellie glared at Marlene, "How dare you."

"She wouldn't want you to starve yourself."

"You don't know what the _fuck_ she'd want!" Ellie abruptly stood up, fists clenched, "You know _nothing_ about her! How _dare_ you! You told her to go to another city! She died because she wanted to say goodbye! It's all your fault, Marlene!"

Marlene didn't even try to defend herself. She sat as Ellie continued to rail against her, "You didn't even try to find her, did you?! You didn't even notice she was gone!"

Ethan came over, "Kid, that's enough out of you," he growled, but Trevor was right behind him.

"Shut up, Ethan," Trevor snarled, "Let her vent."

Ellie ignored them, anger and grief spouting from every pore in her body, "She's dead! She's fucking dead because of you! You killed her!" she seized her bowl of oatmeal and threw it across the room. It hit the far wall, shattering into a million pieces, the contents spattering all over the wall. Ellie stormed off. Ethan moved to grab her, but Marlene put a hand on him.

"Let her go."

Ellie found her 'room' and slammed the door. She furiously sat down in the corner, clutching her knees, and began to weep, big, heaving sobs. She'd wondered when it would come. The crying. She hated crying. She thought it was strange that she hadn't consciously cried when Riley killed herself in front of her, or that she hadn't cried for the two weeks afterward. But now she was crying. The dam had broken, the mask had fallen, and now there was nothing to stop it. She let herself cry until the tears were gone, and even then she continued to shake in her sorrow.

She didn't notice when the door opened and Marlene sat down next to her. She felt the Firefly put an arm around her. The touch was gentle and comforting. Ellie continued to shake as Marlene rubbed her shoulders, "It's okay to let it out, Ellie. Sometimes we just need to let it all out."

"She said she loved me," Ellie finally choked out, "Right before she pulled the trigger."

"She did?"

"Yeah...we…" Ellie continued to sob, "We…" she wanted to tell Marlene what she had shared with Riley, but the words wouldn't come. Somehow, Marlene understood.

"She was your first?"

Ellie nodded.

"I'm sorry."

They both sat in silence as Ellie's sobs slowly faded away. Marlene broke the silence.

"Next week, I'm going to take you to the bakery safehouse, okay? We're going to smuggle you out of the city, take you to a lab out west, and then we'll save everyone from the infected. I can't promise it won't be difficult or dangerous, but we're going to have to try."

"For Riley?" Ellie looked up at Marlene, wiping her face. Marlene nodded.

"It'll be okay, Ellie."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked this chapter, even though it was almost pure tragedy, guilt, anger, and sadness. As for why Riley takes the 'easy way out,' I always thought that Riley didn't get a chance to turn, even though it's left open for interpretation in Left Behind and The Last of Us. Even though Riley wanted to wait it out, I believe that as soon as she realized that Ellie wouldn't turn, she'd take every step possible to prevent herself from harming Ellie, even if it meant emotionally damaging her best friend and losing her own life. If she was willing to cross a city full of soldiers that shoot Fireflies on sight, she would be willing to break the promise of waiting it out to save Ellie from herself.
> 
> As always, thank you for reading and I shall see you in Chapter 4.
> 
> robertskycard


	4. Chapter 4: Mall Rat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the original draft of this, there was a somewhat cheeky reference to The Walking Dead. After re-reading this chapter, I scrapped it for something that I feel is more poignant, particularly to Ellie's mood.

(Early Fall, Two Months Later, Somewhere in the Midwest)

"Ellie?"

"Huh?"

"Whatcha lookin' at?"

"Oh. Just the mall," Ellie gestured up at the sign. _Freedom Gardens_. So close, yet so dissimilar, she thought. She'd lost herself in her memories when she saw the building. Cursing herself for letting it happen, she turned away to follow Joel but he stood, examining the front doors. He spoke.

"We're runnin' low on food. Think there's anythin' we can scrounge up in there?"

"What, like in the food courts?"

"Not what I'm thinkin'," Joel scratched his chin, "Places like this have a lot of hidin' spots. Maybe someone holed up in here, thinkin' long-term, and grabbed a bunch of canned goods. I know some people did that back when everythin' went down. Might even have scoured up some ammo and other things we might need."

"So, what, like a mall rat version of Bill?" Ellie was reminded of Winston.

"Exactly," Joel's brow furrowed, "But lots of hidin' places mean it might be full of infected. Whaddaya think?"

"What do _I_ think? Well…"

Ellie mulled it over. Aside from Joel's reasoning, she had her own issues to contend with. On one hand, their food was low and she'd do just about anything to stave off her hunger, including eat a dusty, twenty year old can of beans. On the other hand, she didn't necessarily want to risk reopening old wounds.

"Do you think it's safe?" she asked, hoping for guidance.

"Nothin's safe, you know that. Only safer."

"I'm just asking," Ellie sighed, "Look, I'm hungry, but I'm not sure if I wanna go in there. It reminds me of where I got bit."

Joel rubbed his beard thoughtfully, "Okay. Here's what we're gonna do. I'm gonna go up to that door there and try to open it. If it don't open for any reason, or we find any reason not to go in there, we leave. If it's open, and there ain't no threat, we go in, see what we can find, and get out. That seem fair?"

"That's fair."

"Alright then."

Joel stepped toward the door and grabbed the handle. Ellie hoped for a moment that it would refuse to budge, but her heart sank when it swung wide open. She forced a smile, but Joel knew something was up.

"Somethin' wrong, Ellie?"

"Oh, it's nothing, really."

"Look, you can tell me what's goin' on."

Ellie sighed but looked Joel up and down, "I'm gonna have to go into a mall eventually."

"It don't have to be this one."

Ellie stood a little straighter, hoping to convince both him and herself, "It's okay Joel. I've got a handle on it."

Joel looked her over, puzzled, but he relented, "Okay. Let's go find a directory. Give us some idea of where everythin' is."

They stepped into the main lobby. Vines and tree branches cascaded down from the ceiling. The leaves were slowly beginning to turn various colors. Fall was approaching. Holes like this were all over the mall, as far as Ellie could tell. She reflected on Winston's tent, the trees that had grown around the carousel and way birds had danced in the morning light. She smiled as she remembered the puns she'd read to Riley.

"Ellie, over here," Joel's voice cut through her memories, returning her to reality.

"Oh, yeah, coming!" she called out as she bounded over to him. He pointed to a red X on the directory.

"You know how to read one of these things."

"Pfft. Yeah."

"Okay, then. I'll take this floor, you get the second level. Let's meet back here in an hour."

"Is that a good idea?"

Joel turned to her, "I need to start trustin' you with things more often. Let's think of this as a…team buildin' exercise."

"'Team building exercise?' What's that?"

"Well, a lot of times, a bunch of folks who didn't or barely know each other would meet and some instructor would tell 'em to do stuff as a team. They'd do stuff like fall backwards so the others would catch 'em, or do somethin' tied together and blindfolded. You know, teamwork."

"That's totally weird."

"It was supposed to build trust."

"Did it always work?"

"Well, even if it didn't, people'd have fun with it."

"I bet their lives didn't depend on it."

"True."

Ellie considered, "Alright then, let's go team-build."

She set off toward the nearest escalator not clogged with debris. As she ascended, she couldn't help but shake the feeling that something would go terribly wrong. She tried to ignore it as she reached the top. She looked to her left. It was a clothing store. She looked to her right. Shoe store. She couldn't make out the store in front of her. The ceiling hadn't collapsed yet and the store front was set back enough that it was shrouded in darkness. She turned on her flashlight.

_Homey Mattress Supply_

"Goddammit," Ellie muttered as her heart sank. It was the same store where she and Riley had slept together. She immediately remembered the caresses, the tastes, the smell, the way her heart pounded in her chest, and Riley calling her name. She didn't want to remember that. If she didn't remember, she couldn't feel the pain. But the memories were there, begging her to stop and lose herself in them.

She turned from the store front and walked the other direction, hoping to ignore the knot in her stomach and the warmth below. The memories continued to play through her head as she walked on, trying her best to focus on the task at hand. She entered a toy store, a book store, and a chocolatier's shop. Finding nothing, she continued her search for supplies. Store after store, room after room, she found nothing but dilapidated store fronts, desiccated corpses, and inedible plant life. She didn't consider herself lucky that she didn't find any infected or hostile people.

She finally returned to the mattress shop after exploring the shoe and clothing stores and discovering nothing of use. She stood outside the _Homey Mattress Supply_ , hesitant to go in. She had to complete her sweep, but she didn't want to awaken her memories even more.

"Fuck it," she said aloud before stepping through the doors. She scanned the interior. This store, unlike many of the others, was mostly intact. Mattress looting probably wasn't high on the priority list during the outbreak, she thought. She slowly maneuvered through the maze of beds, checking behind them to make sure something hadn't dropped down there. She continued her search, the thought of Riley's lips eating away at her. Guilt dogged her every step. She finally sat down upon one of the beds and pulled out Riley's pendant from her jeans pocket.

"You remember a place like this?" she whispered, "I do. I'll never forget what we did there, but right now I don't want to remember. I need to focus and find what I'm looking for."

For a moment, the memories abated. She returned the pendant to her pocket and stood. There. A door, probably to the manager's office. She approached it and tried to open it. Locked. She noticed that door had a glass window on the side. She pulled out a brick from her pack, backed away, and lobbed the brick with force. The glass shattered and cascaded to the floor.

"I still got it," Ellie said, to herself or to Riley's memory, she wasn't sure. She reached in through the window and unlocked the dead bolt and the handle. She jimmied the handle. It worked. She pushed the handle down and pulled the door open.

Inside the office was a desk, three open lockers, and a corpse lying on the ground with a revolver in its hand. Inside the lockers were stacks of canned food, almost as much as what they found in the radio tower outside of Pittsburg. She counted the cans and came up with twenty five cans of food. Smiling, she went over and searched the corpse. Unfortunately, the revolver refused to come open and, after trying without success, Ellie placed it in her pack. She then searched the desk. The desk itself had nothing upon it but old business logs and other strewn pieces of paper. She crumpled them up and placed them in the tinder pouch of her backpack. Then, she opened the drawer. There was a box of revolver ammo with six rounds, and a note. She picked it up and read.

_I got bitten today. Thought I saw something to salvage in one of the vents. Turns out it was a runner. Kid, too. Fast little bastard, but now it won't hurt anyone else. It got me thinking. I'm an army brat who used to camp for months out in the woods with my dad. I was taught how to shoot straight and how to creep along the like a mouse. I was prepared for this, as well as anyone could be prepared for the end of the world. How the fuck is a kid without any knowhow supposed to survive in all this? All it takes is one little fuck-up to turn into a monster. Well, I'm not going to let someone else pay for my mistake. If you're reading this, you've probably found me sitting over by the lockers. There should be food in there, and if you found my note you found the rest of my ammo, too. Sorry I couldn't spare you one more. I guess it's a little selfish of me to want to make it quick._

_Shaun_

Suddenly, she vividly remembered Riley sneezing blood. It made her sick to her stomach. She sat down in the old office chair and waited for the feeling of nausea to pass. Maybe Riley was right to shoot herself. She remembered Riley, gingerly putting the pendant in her hand, backing away, placing the gun to her head, and pulling the trigger. She remembered the words Riley had whispered.

_"I love you."_

Riley loved her. And it made her feel like the worst person in the world, because she felt the same way but never told Riley while she was alive. She pulled out Riley's pendant again, looking at it. She opened her mouth to speak, but the three words she wanted to say wouldn't come out. She tried again, but they just wouldn't come. She settled on something different. She placed the cold metal of the pendant to her lips, gently kissing it before putting it back in her pocket. Her nausea abated.

She reached into the desk, pulled out the ammo, and stood up from the chair, making her way back to the lockers. She stuffed the food and ammo inside her pack, zipped it up, and left. She reached the top of the escalator and turned, giving the store one last look before descending to the first floor.

She sat on a bench by the directory, swinging her legs, wondering what Joel's reaction to her discovery would be. Moments later, Joel appeared.

"Find anything?" he asked, "I didn't have much luck," he brandished a single can of peaches.

Ellie grinned, "You were right. There was a mall rat version of Bill," she opened her pack and showed him the food. His eyes bugged.

"Holy shit," he breathed. They took inventory of what they found. Thirteen cans of beans, thirteen cans of peaches, the uncooperative revolver, and the ammo. Joel struggled to open the revolver, but discovered that the weapon was damaged beyond repair. Joel decided to break the wheel out to see if there was ammunition inside. Once it popped out, he found only one, empty casing.

"Well, so much for that," he said, tossing the busted gun aside, "That was quite a haul. I'm actually a little impressed."

"I got lucky."

" _We_ got lucky. Real lucky," Joel cracked a smile, "You ready to quit this place?"

Ellie nodded and they both made their way outside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We got to see Joel in this chapter, but he hasn't taken on the fatherly figure yet that we see by the end of The Last of Us. I thought that the use of a "team building" exercise as was the best metaphor for their relationship at this point in time.
> 
> I am very aware that I skipped the entirety of the Summer chapters in The Last of Us. I don't usually tell a story that's already been told, even if I make a large gap in my own story as a result. A lot happens in that season, but it's still summer by the time it ends. The next thing we saw as players were the characters a short walk away from their destination, which happens to be a most of a continent away from the Pittsburgh Suburbs. Though the Midwest is often referred to as 'flyover country,' I've lived here long enough to know that there's a lot of people, towns, and cities out here in the 'boonies', enough that I know that a journey across it can provide lots of opportunity to create settings, characters, and stories that haven't been told before.
> 
> Another thing I wanted to experiment on with this chapter was mental exposition. I didn't do it too much with the previous three chapters, as I tend to write dialogue and actions instead of thoughts and feelings, but this time was different as Ellie was mostly alone for this chapter. So how did it turn out? Let me know in your reviews if you decide to write them and I shall see you in Chapter 5.
> 
> robertskycard


	5. Chapter 5: Windy City (Part I)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is particularly short, but the next one is a bit longer.

Chapter 5: Windy City (Part 1)

Days later, they had resumed their trek on the highway. Ellie padded after Joel, her mind wandering. They stayed silent as they marched on. They came to a highway sign that read, "CHICAGO" and underneath, "3 MILES"

"Whadda think?" Ellie said, "Should we risk it?"

"Well, that mall food ain't gonna last much longer."

"There might be assholes like in Pittsburg."

"Yeah," Joel stroked his chin, "Almost every city became a quarantine zone at some point. I don't know if Chicago's fell or not, and sometimes those zones just got overrun with infected."

"I think we should risk it."

Joel looked at her, a little incensed, "Excuse me?"

"Well, we got lucky once. Maybe we can find food there."

Joel looked from her to the sign, "We don't have to make up our mind now. We can do that at the off ramp," he turned and they continued their march.

An hour later, they arrived at the off ramp. Joel leaned against a burnt out car husk.

"Well, what are you thinkin'?" Joel asked as he checked the ammo in his pistol.

Ellie considered for a few moments, "Cities used to have a lot of people, right? So, lots of people means there was lots of food at some point, and since most of it was probably canned, there's probably still some left."

"It's still risky."

"Nothing's safe, Joel. Only safer."

Joel rubbed his beard in thought. After a moment of consideration, he stood up.

"There's a number of reasons why this might be a stupid idea, but you have a point. Now, I'm going to make the same deal we had at the mall a few days back. If for any reason we think it's dangerous, we back out."

Ellie nodded, "Okay."

Joel proceeded down the off ramp with Ellie in toe. A light breeze blew against their faces. Ellie was suddenly reminded of a passage in her geography book at the prep schools.

"In school, I read that Chicago was called 'The Windy City.' Was it windy all the time in Chicago?"

"Actually, it was 'cause of politics."

"Really?"

"Yup."

"Why?"

"Well, apparently the politics in the city were always shiftin' real quick, like the wind. I actually don't know the whole reason behind it."

They were silent a moment.

"What are politics, anyway?"

Joel sighed and rubbed his face with his hand, "Well, before the outbreak, we had a government. There were people in charge of makin' roads, keepin' the peace, and just managin' the country in general. Mostly though, they'd just fight and never get anythin' done."

"Oh. Like the Council in  _Savage Starlight_!"

Joel suppressed a snort of derision, but Ellie caught it, "Hey, if you think of abetter example I can relate to, I'm all ears."

Joel cracked a smile and shook his head, "I guess that'll have to do."

They pressed on, Ellie watching as the buildings slowly surrounded them, the sun slowly setting behind the buildings. After another half hour of walking, they found an old FEDRA gate adorned with red graffiti that said, "ABANDON ALL HOPE, YE WHO ENTER HERE!" There seemed to be no way to get past it.

"Do we turn back?" Ellie looked at Joel. He went up to the gate and examined it for a moment.

"Well, if we pull on this handle here, we might be able to get it open."

He reached for the handle when he suddenly stopped. Ellie followed his eyes and saw it, too. Gouge marks under the gate's path of movement. They still had dust around them.

"Ellie, get your gun."

"DON'T FUCKING MOVE!"

Ellie looked up and saw an angry, burly man with ragged hair and a straggly beard standing over the top of the gate, pointing a shotgun down at her. He wore armor like a soldier, but Ellie knew soldiers were supposed to keep groomed, "Move for your gun and I  _will_  blow your head off!"

Joel already had his pistol out and pointed at the man when another voice came from behind the gate, "Put the gun down right now or we shoot!"

Four more men popped up from behind the gate, pointing rifles, pistols, and a bow at Ellie and Joel. They all wore armor and uniforms like the soldiers of the Boston QZ, but they didn't look like they had the discipline.

"Joel, what do we do?" Ellie whispered as she turned to look at Joel, but he was already laying his pistol on the ground, his other hand high in the air. Ellie raised her hands in the air.

"We don't want any trouble, we're just lookin' for food," Joel said loudly and clearly. The men said nothing, keeping their weapons trained on them.

"Secure them!" one of the men called out, and six more men appeared from the nearby buildings and surrounded them. The man with the shotgun pulled out a walkie-talkie.

"This is Fredricks at the highway checkpoint. We have two outsiders at the gate with hands in the air, what's the command?"

The walkie crackled as the person on the other end answered, "Describe them."

"One is male, late forties, graying black hair, eye color is brown, and weight's about a buck fifty. The other's a female, about fifteen, reddish brown hair, green eye color, and weighs probably only a hundred pounds, if that."

"Search them and bring them in for questioning and quarantine."

"Yes, sir," he said, putting the walkie away, "You heard the man," Fredricks vaulted over the gate and pulled it open, "Packs on the ground. Then, get down on the ground, hands away from your body and palms flat on the concrete," They did as they were instructed. Two men bent down beside them. Ellie felt hands pat along her body. She felt revolted when they touched her hips.

"You guys are disgusting, you know that?" she spat.

"Yeah, yeah," the man patting her down muttered, "Look, you might have anything hidden in your clothes," he said as patted along her legs. He pulled the pistol out of her pants, reached into her back pocket, and pulled out Ellie's switchblade, "Like that gun and this little pig sticker you've got."

"That was my mother's, you son of a bitch!" Ellie snarled.

The man ignored her and tossed it to Fredricks, who pressed the button that made the blade spring out, "I guess it's more than sentimental," he shook his head and knelt down to Ellie's pack, closed the blade, opened the pack, and deposited the gun and switchblade inside before zipping it back up.

Once the men were positive that Ellie and Joel were stripped of all weapons, they were hauled back to their feet and surrounded at a fair distance. Fredricks spoke, "Take off your shirts and pants."

"Oh, shit," Ellie thought as she subconsciously rubbed her bite through the sleeve.

"Like hell," Joel growled.

"Listen, buddy, you are in no position to –"

"She ain't takin' her clothes off in front of you, you sick fucks."

Fredricks glowered at Joel, "Oh, I get it. Okay. Fine, we'll forgo the strip-search with her. Not with you. Shirt off, now."

Joel glared at him, but removed his shirt and pulled down his pants.

"Put them back on. We're done here," Fredricks said and started turning away. Ellie breathed a sigh of relief, but suddenly Fredricks stopped and turned back, pointing his shotgun at Joel.

"Roll up your sleeves and your pant legs, kid, or I'll blow his head off."

"The hell are you doin'?" Joel snarled.

"I'm not so fucking stupid as to think that you just care about her modesty. She's bit."

"She's not."

"We'll see."

Ellie looked at Joel for help, who only just looked back at her nervously.

"I don't have all fucking day."

Sighing with defeat, Ellie rolled up her sleeve, showing the bite to the men present. They didn't even flinch.

"Told you."


	6. Chapter 6: Windy City (Part 2)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains graphic violence. Reader discretion has been advised.

Ellie and Joel had been taken into the abandoned quarantine zone, specifically an old fast-food restaurant called  _Burger Hut_. Now, they were strapped to chairs, waiting for someone, who was supposed to come and question them. Ellie squirmed in her seat.

"It ain't no use, Ellie. We don't have any weapons."

"But how are we going to get out of here?"

"Our best hope of gettin' out of here is just answerin' what this guy asks us. They said they'd put us into quarantine, so we'll wait it out and when you're still fine, they won't shoot us."

"We hope."

"We hope."

Ellie stopped squirming, but then she remembered how they got here in the first place, "I'm so fucking stupid," she grumbled, "I got us into this mess."

"Well, you can't win 'em all."

The door of the Burger Hut opened. Their questioner had arrived and he made his way to a spot on the floor in front of them, humming a mournful sounding tune with a casual air that contrasted the very nature of the song he hummed. He stopped when he reached his mark and began to pace in front of them. He was a tall man with short, trimmed blonde hair, blue eyes, and a carefully maintained reddish-brown beard. He stood with his back straight, hands clasped behind his back, and wore a military uniform. He reminded Ellie of the military prep school officials back in Boston, specifically Corporal Dickhead. However, in his eyes seemed to be something that indicated that he wasn't nearly as rigid as the officials had been, which was quickly confirmed by the first words out of his mouth.

"What the fuck makes you think it's a good idea to haul an infected girl through my city?"

Joel and Ellie both remained silent.

"Quiet ones, huh? I have a protocol to maintain. First, I'm going to search the guys that captured you for bites. Then, I'm going to ask you two some questions, and if you want to walk out of here breathing you better answer them quickly and honestly. Then, I'm going to place you two and whoever's bitten into quarantine. Finally, we're going to wait."

Joel spoke up, "What if your guy kills one of us?"

"Well, then I guess that's too fucking bad. If you don't turn by then, you're free to go, but first you have some serious explaining to do."

He left the room and returned a few moments later, "No bites on my guys. You won't die by their hand." he said as he pulled a chair from a corner and sat down in front of them.

"Names. Now."

"I'm Joel. This is Ellie."

"Where are you from?"

Joel answered, "Texas."

"No shit? I thought Kentucky. In all seriousness, you were traveling east-to-west, but 'where are you from' can mean two different things, so I'll use different words. Where are you traveling from?"

"Boston."

"And you, kid, did you just stumble on him or were you with him the whole time? I mean, it's clearly obvious he isn't your dad, since you don't have the accent," he said, turning to Ellie.

"I was with him from Boston."

"Where did you get the bite?"

"Boston."

"Bullshit."

"I was bitten in a mall in Boston."

"If you had said 'Chicago' or 'Kansas City' I would have believed you, maybe. But right now, I'm about two seconds from putting a hole in your little skull, so look me in the eye and tell me where you got your fucking bite."

Ellie locked eyes with him, "A mall in Boston. Liberty Gardens."

He chuckled, "Well, I guess we'll find out the veracity of your statement in due time," he turned back to Joel, "Who is she to you? Did you adopt her?"

"No, she's… I promised someone I'd take care of her."

"Who?"

"Does it matter?"

The man frowned and stood up slowly before drawing a revolver from the back of his pants, "Let me make this perfectly clear. If you cooperate, you'll go into quarantine and, if your story's true, you might get to walk out of here. If you do  _not_  cooperate, I'm going to kill you. It's that fucking simple. Now, who did you promise?"

Joel glared at him before answering, "Tess."

The man sat back down, "Who is Tess? Sounds like a lady's name."

"I used to work for her, smuggling out of the quarantine zone in Boston. She told me to take the girl to my brother's place."

"And where is that?"

"Jackson, Wyoming."

"I assume that's where you two were headed?"

"Yes."

The man scratched his head, "So, what got Tess? Infected? Military? The Fireflies? Or did she just abandon you?"

Joel's jaw hardened, "The military."

"I see. Sounds like she was special to you, am I right?"

Joel eyes burned with an intense anger, "That's private."

"I guess she was."

The man stood up and walked away, rubbing his bearded chin, "So, why are you headed to Wyoming all the way from Boston? It isn't just because someone told you to, even if they were someone really special. No one is that fucking stupid."

Both Joel and Ellie remained silent. The man spoke again, "I'm going to ask this, and I'm only going to ask this once. Why are you traveling halfway across the country with a little girl who isn't your daughter? You have fifteen seconds to come up with the truth or at the very least a reasonable sounding lie."

They said nothing. Ellie's heart pounded in her chest. What would this man do?

"Clock's ticking."

Ellie started counting down. Ten, nine, eight, seven,

"Give it up, people."

Six.

Five.

Four.

"Three."

"Two."

"One."

"Time's up."

He turned around, pistol in hand, and aimed at Joel, pulling back the hammer with a click.

"I'm immune!"

The man slowly turned his gaze toward Ellie, "What?"

"I said I'm immune."

He narrowed his eyes as he moved his pistol from Joel to Ellie.

"Talk."

Ellie looked at Joel, who nodded.

"Joel and Tess were supposed to smuggle me out of Boston for the Fireflies. We left Boston because the Fireflies said that I could help make a vaccine. They have a lab somewhere out west. Joel's brother used to be a Firefly, so he knows where they're supposed to be."

The man glared at her, then turned on Joel, aiming at his head, "What makes you think she's immune? For all I know, she was bitten yesterday and is making all this shit up."

Joel spoke, "Roll up her sleeve."

The man gave him a cold look before stomping over to Ellie. He yanked her sleeve up and studied the bite for a few moments before speaking, "I've never seen a bite that's not burning red with infection," he turned back to Joel, "So, can you verify her story?"

"Marlene asked us to smuggle her to the Capitol building to a crew of Fireflies. We showed up, but they were dead. Like Ellie said, the Fireflies are based someplace out west. So, Tess told me to take her to my brother's, 'cause he was a Firefly."

The man looked between the two of them, gun still trained on Joel, "So, let me get this straight. The kid's immune, so the Fireflies want to synthesize a vaccine from her? But you only know that they're 'out west' and so you're going all the way to Wyoming with the hopes that your brother is 1. alive, 2. able to tell you where the Fireflies' lab is, and 3. close to Wyoming? 'Out west' from Boston could mean Nebraska, for all you know."

"We ain't got much of a choice."

The man lowered his pistol and snorted, "Dumbasses. You're going into quarantine. Twelve hours. You'll get your switchblade back in the meantime. If either of you kill the other, or you kill yourselves, I'll know this story is bullshit. However, if you sit there quietly for the next day, I'll be…forced to concede the veracity of your statements."

He made a quick, curt nod, and suddenly Ellie was being pulled out of the chair by four strong hands. The pair was hauled into a meat locker, where they were unceremoniously dumped into the back. The man stood at the door and casually tossed Ellie's switchblade in, "Oh, don't try anything stupid like climbing through the air conditioner vent up there. I've got men waiting on the other side who'll shoot anything that pokes out," and with that, the man shut the door with a loud bang.

It was oppressively dark inside the meat locker.

"Joel, what are we gonna do? How do we get out of here?"

Nothing.

"Joel, we have got to get out of here!"

"We don't gotta do nothin'. We can't get out that way and there's bullets between us and the exit."

"So what are we gonna do?"

"Wait."

"What if he's lying?"

"Can't help it if he is."

Ellie was starting to panic. She hated the dark. There were always lights on in the quarantine zone. In darkness, she'd slept lightly, for fear of infected chewing on her in her sleep. She absolutely hated the dark.

"Joel, I don't like the dark."

"Me neither. Just try to think about something else."

"Joel, I hate the fucking dark. I really hate the fucking dark!"

Ellie's breathing accelerated and she felt her heart pounding in her chest, almost as if it wanted to get out. She couldn't breathe. She had to get out. She had to escape. The walls were closing in around her. They were going to crush her to death. She couldn't see them, couldn't trust them to stay in the same place.

"Ellie…"

"I can't breathe."

"Ellie?"

"I… I can't fucking breathe!"

"Ellie!"

She suddenly felt strong arms around her, holding her tight, and heard Joel's voice, "It's all right, Ellie, I gotcha. It's gonna be okay," Ellie kicked and squirmed. She was going to go blind, she had to escape. She wouldn't be able to see the infected when they came for her. They'd get her and tear her to pieces. She had to see, had to see them. Joel's voice cut through her panicked thoughts, "Just breathe slowly, in and out. In and out," Joel's hand rubbed her shoulder as he murmured into her ear, "It's gonna be all right, Ellie. It's gonna be all right. Just breathe slowly."

Ellie tried to concentrate on what he was telling her to do. Inhale, exhale. She focused solely on her breathing, inhale, exhale. Inhale, exhale. Her breathing slowed and so did the hammering of her heart. It was dark, but she started to see. Four walls of grey metal, a seamless door, her switchblade on the floor, and an air conditioner stuck in the wall above them. She slowly extricated herself from Joel's arms, walked over, and picked up her switchblade.

"Joel, I… it just freaks me out when I can't see."

"Eyes adjust, it'll pass."

"I, uh…" Ellie wanted to tell him why the dark scared her so much. That it had been dark when the infected had attacked her and Riley the day they met, that Riley had died in a similar alley at night, that the subway station with all the clickers had been forever burned into her mind, that the night before Sam turned she just knew something was off and the morning after confirmed that. But she didn't have the courage, so she just said, "Thanks."

She sat opposite Joel, wondering how he could keep his cool in all this. His voice broke her train of thought.

"We should try to get some sleep."

"Why?"

"It's been weeks since we've had the chance to rest. We've got twelve hours, you don't have your joke book, and I'm all out of chit-chat. We might as well sleep up."

"Okay."

A thought popped into her head. She realized she'd broken one of the rules Joel had set from the beginning.

"I know you told me not to tell anyone that I was immune. I'm sorry."

"Well, considerin' he was gonna blow my head off if you didn't, I ain't too broke up about it."

Ellie lay down. The metal floor was cold and uncomfortable, but at least she had the chance to get some peaceful, quiet sleep. Hopefully, she wouldn't get any nightmares this time.

* * *

Ellie awoke to bright light and creaking metal hinges. Shadowy figures entered the meat locker and seized her by the arms. She started kicking and clawing, trying to get away, "Let go of me, dickhead!" she yelled as she floundered. She quickly realized she was back in the abandoned Burger Hut. Two men had grabbed her, and two more went inside the meat locker for Joel. Suddenly, a familiar, if unsettling, voice cut through the commotion.

"Goddammit!"

Suddenly, she was dropped on the ground as the two men who had grabbed her let her go and stood to attention. She saw the blonde-haired man step up to them, fire in his eyes.

"What were my orders?"

"To wake them up, sir!" one of the men replied.

"That's right, wake them up. Where in that particular phrasing did you get the idea that you were supposed to drag them out kicking and screaming?"

"Uh…"

"Where did you get that idea, private?!"

The other man who had grabbed Ellie spoke up, "That was me, sir."

"And why did you take that liberal interpretation of my orders, private?"

"Sir, quarantine is forty eight hours. I assumed you knew they were infected and wanted us to take them out and execute protocol."

The leader set his jaw, "Quarantine is however long I say it is, and for those two it was twelve hours."

"Sir, respectfully, a twelve hour quarantine is not sufficient for -"

The man in charge suddenly grabbed Ellie, hauled her to her feet, and yanked her sleeve up, "This bite has had time to actually heal. Do you not think that a  _healed fucking bite wound_  means a shorter time to turn? Twelve hours was more than enough."

He let go of Ellie's wrist, "For fuck's sake, private, the next time you pull something like this,  _you'll_ be the next highway warning sign. Now get the fuck out of my sight."

Three of them turned to leave, but the one who the leader had berated refused to move, "No, sir."

The room went deathly silent. The other three men's eyes opened wide with terror. The bold man stood tall and straight eyeing the leader, who slowly turned back to him, fury burning in his eyes.

"Ellie, get behind me," Joel whispered, and Ellie complied, peeking out from behind his arm. The leader advanced on his subordinate.

"What?"

"I said no, sir."

The leader's voice became menacingly quiet, "I'm only giving you one chance to redact that statement,  _Jerry_."

"I said no. The bitch is infected."

The man and his subordinate stood, staring eye to eye. The leader was the first to speak after a prolonged silence, "You questioned me in front of my men. You questioned me in front of outsiders. You know the punishment, don't you?"

The man drew a revolver from the back of his pants and slowly pulled the hammer back until it clicked, "Turn around, and get on your knees."

The subordinate tried to stare him down, "No. Look me in the eyes when you do it, coward."

The pistol smashed against the side of his head. Blood spattered against the floor as the petulant thug crumpled onto his hands and knees.

"Get him up," the leader said, and pointed to a nearby table, "Hold him down there."

The other three men sprang into action, grabbing the wounded man and pinning his hands against the tabletop and knocking him onto his knees. The leader put his revolver back, reached into his back pocket, and pulled a metal object out. It was a pair of pliers. He clicked the pliers together twice before slowly advancing on the kneeling man. The leader seized one of the man's fingers and placed the tip in the head of the pliers, gripping it tightly with the metal tool.

"Ellie, you don't want to look at this," Joel said quietly.

The leader looked at them, "Actually, you'll want to take a good, long look, because  _this,_ " he punctuated the word by squeezing the pliers hard, crushing the fingernail underneath, eliciting a scream of pain from the man he was torturing, "is what happens when you get flippant with me!" he then seized the tip of the nail with the pliers and slowly pulled, ignoring the screams from his subordinate. Moments later, the bloody nail came free with a sickening squelch, and then clattered onto the table as it was released. Blood oozed from the damaged finger.

"Holy shit," Ellie breathed, scarcely believing the horror she was witnessing.

"She doesn't need to see this!" Joel pleaded, but the man ignored him, placing a second finger into the pliers' head. Another scream filled the room as the leader crushed the second nail and then yanked it free from its finger. He casually dropped it next to the first. He placed a third fingertip into the pliers. He grabbed the man he was torturing by the hair and lifted his head from the table.

"You gonna apologize to them or am I gonna have to keep taking out nails?"

"Fuck you!"

"Wrong answer," he slammed the tortured man's head back on the table with a resounding thump.

The leader looked directly at Joel as he compressed the third fingertip in the pliers. The third nail broke with a nauseating crack. The man's screams slowly burned themselves into Ellie's mind as the leader seized the nail and tore it from the finger.

"You don't have to do this," Joel said, "We understand."

"Maybe  _you_  do, but this guy doesn't, isn't that right Jerry?"

Jerry looked up, agony and anger etched on his face, "Burn in hell, you son of a bitch!"

The leader looked at Joel almost apologetically and shrugged, "What'd I tell ya?" he said and then proceeded to crush the next fingertip to another agonizing scream. He put the nail into the pliers.

"STOP!"

The word had come out of her mouth before Ellie even realized she was speaking. The leader looked up, his eyes meeting hers. She saw nothing but malice in behind the blue of his irises. He deliberately refused to break eye contact as he slowly pulled the nail out.

"Take him outside," he said to who his men, "You two. Stay put."

The men dragged the tortured man whimpering out the front door. He followed behind them, clicking the pliers menacingly, "We're not done yet, Jerry. There's a lot more we have to do," he reached for the service counter with his free hand and picked up a machete that was next to a cash register. The boarded up front door slammed behind them after they left. Ellie heard agonizing screams that lasted for a few minutes before it was suddenly cut short by a gunshot. The leader returned, alone, his hands, shirt, and face spattered with blood. He gestured to the table where Jerry was tortured and Ellie and Joel sat on one side.

"Fucking Jerry," the blood-soaked man muttered as he pulled up a chair and sat across from them, leaning back and placing a single foot on the table. Ellie was suddenly aware that she was sitting uncomfortably close to the dead man's removed fingernails. "Sorry about that…unpleasantness."

"That was unnecessary," said Joel.

"What was 'unnecessary' was the second chance I gave him. If you two weren't standing there, I probably would have done what I usually do."

"Which is?"

"Much worse."

The leader sat up and leaned forward, placing both feet on the ground, "I'm going to cut to the chase. I've cleared you from quarantine. That means you're free to go, on one condition."

"One condition?"

"Yeah. You see, there's an old military cache. Problem is, infected are all over it and, during the QZ's fall, the manifest was lost. I have a shit memory, so I don't remember what exactly was in there,  _but_  I remember it was something or a number of things valuable enough that I might risk a supply raid. So I want you two to go in there and do a little housekeeping for me. All you have to do is get in there, take some stock, get back to me, and tell me what's there."

The leader reached behind his back and pulled out a folded map. He spread it out on the table.

"If my memory serves me correctly, it's an old vehicle depot. Preliminary reconnaissance has suggested as much. It's in a part of the city that's heavily infested. Most of what you'll be up against are Stage 3s, but we have no idea if there is an infected presence inside the depot itself," he pointed to a specific building on the map, "This is where the objective is located. You get there, take inventory, and come back; I'll get you a working vehicle that my people don't need and you can go on your way."

"That's mighty generous of you. But what happens if we decide not to?"

The leader chuckled humorlessly before gesturing to the removed nails next to Ellie, "Then both of you end up like Jerry."

"I guess we don't have much of a choice, do we?"

"Oh, you do have a choice."

"If you want to kill me, that's fine, but her? She's just a kid."

"She had a pistol and a knife on her when we caught you. That makes her a combatant."

"That's a pretty loose interpretation of that word."

"I really don't care what you think about the interpretation of  _my own fucking protocol_ ," the man's eyes flashed dangerously, "You know how badly that goes."

Joel nodded silently, "Fine. We'll do it."

"Good," the leader pulled out a pencil and notepad and handed it to Joel, "I'll have my men return your gear and you'll be deployed at oh-nine-hundred. Also, don't try anything cute like running away. You stand to get a lot, but you stand to lose a great deal more. I always find who I'm looking for," folded up his map and put it away as he stood and started walking away.

"Wait," Ellie said, "What should we tell your guys when we come back? You have a name?"

The leader sighed, "When you come back, tell my men that you are to give your report to the soldier."

"'The soldier?'"

"You see any other soldiers on your way through my city?"

With that, he left, not even looking back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the last chapter, I experimented with the possibility of another version of Pittsburgh where the people who lived in the city didn't just shoot people on sight. I also thought that some people who weren't associated with the military or the Fireflies in the contemporary might be on the lookout for people who are immune. This was the basis for the character that you see here. In case you need explanation, he's ex-military who came to rule over the ruins of the Chicago quarantine zone. I wanted to make him a believable person in the apocalypse in The Last of Us, someone who is essentially a dictator yet not entirely unreasonable. Someone who has a personality that isn't just "Oooh, I'm a villain, fear me." Perhaps the scariest thing about him and real people like him is that they command such authority that people will turn on their friends with the snap of their fingers.
> 
> Spoiler Alert: I will not reveal his name in this story. I will not capitalize his 'name' because titles in this world created by Naughty Dog are next to meaningless. Though the Fireflies are properly capitalized as a resistance movement, they are basically the only group in this universe that deserves the capitalization that comes with a proper noun, for they are an ideal as well as a group of people. Since the soldier is just a person, despite his menacing aura, he will not take the capitalization of a proper noun. He's not the Commander, he's not the King, he's not God. So he cannot be the Soldier. He's just the soldier.
> 
> On another note, the torture scene was specifically included because I wanted the soldier to be the kind of person that's willing to get their hands dirty and unwilling to let mistakes and failures slide. I originally wrote the dialogue before Jerry's subsequent torture and execution to me much longer and more involved, but when I showed it to my brother to see how he'd react, he said, "So the soldier doesn't stand for insubordination, right? Why is he letting this Jerry guy protest so much. I'd think he'd go straight for the jugular if someone were to talk back to him." He was right, so I cut it down to the bare minimum.
> 
> Another thing I noticed was the fact that, in The Last of Us, when Joel tortured people like Robert and the cannibal, he turned away and closed his eyes, like he knew what he was doing was going to be painful and just as bad for his psyche as well as the other's. In one respect, it means that Joel feels guilty about doing it even though he may feel like he has no choice. He'll look at them when they're talking, but when it comes to actually inflicting pain upon them, he'll refuse to look at either the victim or a person nearby. I hope I made it clear that the soldier has no such problems.
> 
> Thank you for reading, and I hope to see you again with Chapter 7.
> 
> robertskycard


	7. Chapter 7: Windy City (Part 3)

 

"Radio me in three hours," Fredricks called to them as Ellie and Joel hopped out of the Humvee, "Otherwise I'll come looking for corpses!" he laughed as he pulled away. That truck, plus Fredricks' attitude, reminded Ellie of the truck in Pittsburgh, sans the gruesome 'warning' on the hood.

"I fucking hate that guy," Ellie said after he'd driven off.

"I know, but we ain't got the luxury of good company."

Joel started walking down the street, Ellie right behind him. They'd gone all but two steps when they heard it.

_Click! Click! Click!_

Joel grabbed Ellie by the shoulder and both pinned themselves against the front wall of the closest building they could find. The door beside them opened and a clicker shambled down the stoop and toward the street. More doors opened and more clickers came out onto the street, maybe a dozen or more, filling the air with their sounds. Ellie's heart hammered in her chest. She stood absolutely still, back pressed against the wall as much as she could, fearing her short, panicked breathing would alert them. She slowly turned her head to look at Joel. His eyes radiated the fear she felt.

"Why did they come out?" Ellie whispered.

"Truck drew 'em out. I got an idea," he whispered, "We are gonna shuffle slowly down to the corner and then we're gonna get inside somewhere, hole up, and get a real plan."

"There's so fucking many!" she hissed back.

"Just stay calm and follow my lead."

Joel bent down gradually until his fingers closed around a bottle. He stood back up and stepped forward, each movement so slow it was almost imperceptible until he was in a position to throw. The clickers continued to snap, snarl, and click along the street, waving their arms in front of them, searching for the truck that was no longer there. Joel let the bottle fly.

_CRASH!_

It went right through an open window across the street. The clickers shrieked and stormed the building, savagely swinging their arms about. Joel grabbed Ellie and both of them sped around the corner. Joel looked around and saw a hole in the wall to their right. He jumped up into it and reached down to Ellie. She jumped up and grabbed his hand and he pulled her in. They both lay on the wooden floor, panting, the clicking down the street reaching a fever pitch.

"Holy shit," Ellie breathed a sigh of relief, "That was too close."

"We ain't out of the woods yet."

Ellie got up and looked around. They were in a bedroom, decorated with flowery wallpaper that was smothered in posters of movies and bands. A  _Dawn of the Wolf_  poster caught her eye. It was next to a framed poster of four, slender young men with the words "Halican Drops" on the bottom, above their heads were what she assumed were their names, written in permanent marker. The bed was made with flowery sheets, a number of cute stuffed animals seated around the pillow, and a mobile hung from the ceiling fan. Ellie remembered the words Joel had said about the movie poster in Pittsburgh.

" _It was a dumb teen movie._ "

_"Who dragged you to see it?"_

_"It don't matter. Let's just stay focused, alright?"_

Ellie spoke, gesturing to the Halican Drops poster, "So, what's up with this poster?"

Joel had got to his feet, "That's a band, Ellie."

"Yeah, I know, but what's up with the scribbles above their heads?"

"That'd be signatures, Ellie. Sometimes, bands would wait after a concert and you could get stuff signed by 'em. T-shirts, posters, hats, that kinda stuff."

"Did you see this band?"

Joel flinched, "Got drug to see it, more like," he muttered, fiddling with his watch without even looking at it.

"Is this the mystery person who dragged you to see  _Dawn of the Wolf_?"

Joel looked away, his expression hardening, "Let's get goin'," he quickly ducked out of the room, leaving Ellie bewildered. That watch had been broken the day she had met him, for a long time by the looks of it, and yet he never took it off. Ever. And any time she tried to press for information about it, or for information about the person who took him to 'dumb teen' things, he changed the subject to the task at hand.

She sighed, gave up, and followed after him. They made their way downstairs to the dining room below and sat down across from each other. Joel pulled out a map that Fredricks had given him. It was marked with the dropoff and rendezvous point and their destination. Joel poured over the map, brow knitted in concentration. He finally spoke after a prolonged silence.

"Here's my idea. We're only a few blocks from the depot, so we shimmy down the street, goin' nice and slow, and then when we get to the depot, we'll get in, do what we need to do, and get out."

"Okay."

* * *

Joel slowly approached the door that they'd observed on the map. He pulled out his bow, his signal for Ellie to draw her switchblade for stealth. He slowly peeked inside and then went in, ushering Ellie in before closing the door quietly. The two of them split up and searched the depot. Once Ellie was sure they were in the clear, she said, "There's nothing in this dump. What a gyp."

"Well, let's take stock, all the same," Joel muttered, returning his bow to his pack before pulling out a notepad and a pencil.

It was an old, abandoned garage occupied by a single truck, some equipment shelves, and a small office in the back. The office had nothing inside it save for a broken pair of scissors and pipes on the wall, which Joel used to fashion a weapon. On one side of the depot were large numbers of what Ellie thought were giant bullets, but then she remembered prep school at the Boston QZ and that these were ammunition for heavy artillery or tanks. The other side of the depot had a .50 caliber machine gun that sat alone on a rack. The inside of the truck revealed nothing save for ancient cigarette butts and a complete lack of fuel for it. Joel wrote everything down on the notepad and made his way toward the door. Ellie was seriously concerned.

"Is he gonna kill us?"

"Well, he said he'd let us go if we wrote a complete inventory. I've done that, so if he has issue with my findin's, he can come here his damn self."

"He's gonna kill us," Ellie sighed.

Joel popped the door open, "Come on, kiddo. We'll get out of this one way or another."

As he came forward, Ellie heard that clicking noise. That telltale shriek as the clicker sensed movement. Joel slammed the door back shut and the clicker that was on the other side began to mercilessly pound on the metal door.

"Back that way! Back that way!"

Ellie ran to the other door on the far side of the depot and wrenched it open. The alley was clear on both sides.

"We're clear!"

"Let's haul ass, come on!"

The pair of them ran to the corner. Joel peeked around then grabbed her. They ran back up the street toward the rendezvous point that was blocks away, followed by clicking, howls, and shrieks. Joel pulled out the hand-held radio the soldier's men had given him.

"This is the outsider recon team, we're heading for the rendezvous point but we're bein' chased by infected! We need immediate extraction!" he repeated the words that they'd told him.

"Roger that, we're coming in hot," came Fredricks' voice, "Standby for pick up."

Ellie's feet slammed on the pavement as she ran, hearing bare feet slapping the ground behind her, shrieks and clicks coming from all around. It was getting closer. She drew her pistol and fired over her shoulder. Joel did the same with his. They continued running, and quickly got to a point a block away from the rendezvous point. Ellie saw that the Humvee was nowhere to be found.

"Where the fuck's the truck?!"

As if called by her words, the Humvee came screaming around the corner. It spun so its passenger side doors faced the two of them. Ellie ran for the back seat as Joel ran for the front. She wrenched the door open, dove in, and was face to face with the barrel of a sawed-off shotgun. She ducked.

_BANG!_

The shot rang in her ears. He was yelling something, but she couldn't tell what. She felt the truck begin to move. She suddenly realized she wasn't dead and looked. She saw that a clicker was hanging onto the door, snapping its jaws and reaching inside. The man who had held the weapon that had almost killed her was fumbling for shogun shells as the truck started to pull forward. Ellie lifted her foot and kicked the clicker in the face, knocking it loose, before grabbing the door handle and slamming it shut. The tires of the truck screeched as it peeled away, infected chasing after it as it roared down the street to safety.

"Holy shit! That was intense!" Ellie panted, leaning against the seat, buckling in.

"You said it," came Joel's breathy reply as he tossed the hand-held radio back to the man who sat beside Ellie. Fredricks, in the driver's seat, looked back at the man.

"You almost blew her head off, you fucking moron!" Fredrick's snarled.

"Sorry, they were coming for me!"

"They were coming for me, too, but I didn't stick a gun in this guy's face!"

"Hey, man, I ain't drivin'!"

Fredricks pulled the truck to a stop, "How about you apologize to the girl before I haul you out of this truck and kick your scrawny little ass?"

The man sighed, "I'm sorry I nearly blew your head off."

"Good," Fredricks said as he put the truck in gear and resumed driving, "I'm surprised I'm even asking this, but did you at least hit the fucking thing?"

"No."

"The fuck you mean, 'no'?"

"I missed, dammit!"

"It's a shotgun, how the fuck did you miss at point blank range with buckshot? Did you shoot the roof?"

"I was loaded with slugs!"

"Are you fucking kidding me? Next time, shake your damn shells before putting them in your gun or, you know, look."

They drove in silence, and then a few moments later, Fredricks pulled out his radio, "This is Fredricks. We have the ORT, returning to base, all parties accounted for."

Ellie gave the man in the back seat a confused look, "Stands for 'outsider recon team'," he muttered.

The soldier's voice crackled over the radio, "Does the ORT have the package?"

Joel waved the notepad at Fredricks.

"Yes, sir."

"Good. Send them to my office, but execute possible bite protocol on the old man."

"Roger that."

He turned to Joel, "Lift up your shirt and roll up your sleeves."

"He isn't bit," Ellie said, "I swear."

Fredricks ignored her. Joel did as he was told. No bites.

"Good. We'll be back in a couple of minutes, just sit tight."


End file.
